Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize