New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
