sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
