I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
