jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize