Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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