Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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