My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
did i just pee glitter
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
