Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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