I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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