she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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