I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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