just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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