I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
