you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
