Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Girls should come with a carfax report
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
