I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I need water and some morals
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