so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Randomize
