Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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