that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i now understand why vodka
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
