Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
