Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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