i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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