Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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