i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
