Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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