VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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