Please, let me fuck your mom
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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