Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nicole vs. Life
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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