She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
