no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
