What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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