He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
God, I missed his penis.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
