Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
