Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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