I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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