that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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