he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize