i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
