White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You can't special order awesome
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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