If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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