They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize