Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just cropdusted the office
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
