So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize