think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
