So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
