I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
