I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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