There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
