dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
