We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
