According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
