office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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