yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
