Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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